We were talking with a friend on Saturday about establishing an evening/bed time routine with our babies. (Their son is 2 1/2 months old now)
We do terribly with a nightly routine, and are not afraid to admit it! We read to Abby when we want to read, but rarely if ever when we're trying to get her to bed. She usually falls asleep in one of our arms and when we're ready for bed, we put her down.
I know that a lot of readers on this blog are parents of young children, and we would love to hear if you have a bedtime routine. I would also love to hear from those that don't as to any method or madness behind that.
Discuss!
(Next post will be about our morning routine!)
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Starting on Sunday, we're now doing a very basic routine of change diaper, change into jammies, listen to some music and gently dance, and nurse to sleep. We tried starting it earlier in the evening, but as of tonight, we're just trying to read his cues. It's 9:48 in the PM right now, and he's sleeping on his own. I'm holding my breath to see how long this lasts before he wakes up and realizes he's alone...
We've refined ours over time but basically it goes like this:
6:00 Chase starts dinner (she likes a little appetizer to whet her appetite) in her highchair while I get our din together.
6:30 We both join Chase and she eats her 'entree' everyone finishes up and at 7:00 it's bathtime with daddy then pj's and back to mommy for nursing and then to bed by 7:30 if not a little earlier. There's no time for stories at bedtime. I don't anticipate her being interested in stories at bedtime until she's done nursing. She's only interested in one thing when we're sitting in her chair.
I think her routine is important at 10 months she definitely knows what's coming after pj's and lights out.
;) I was about to post some snarky comment on Aurora and my bedtime "routines". But she's an excellent sleeper (down there on the dog bed) and I'll spare you the gloating.
I will say, that I thought bed-time "routines" were only necessary to help the wee one sleep (which is not an issue for you, no?) or for when you're tired of holding her until she falls asleep at 10 pm.
My point: do what works for you. When you have an issue, ask around and make changes that work for you.
Whatever you come up with will change every few months anyway. It evolves.
We're good at bedtime routines; it's the morning routine where we get a little lazy.
At bedtime, I get Ada into pajamas and wash her hands and face, then we sit in the rocking chair in her room while I read her a story or two, often with a lullabies CD playing. Then I nurse her until she falls asleep. She often wakes as I transfer her to the crib, and that's good. She rolls over and tucks her legs up underneathe her, and falls alseep on her own.
Sometimes, of course, this doesn't work. But, usually, it does. I'm pretty zen about it right now, since both girls are putting themselves to sleep and doing so well with sleeping through the night. But at every age we've experienced so far, it all goes in cycles and sometimes bedtimes are a *lot* more work that this for a while.
A few more thoughts about bedtime routines. I started getting pretty serious about this with Ada when she was about Abby's age.
The theory is that a routine helps ease the baby down to sleep, teaching her to self-soothe and eventually learn to be able to go to sleep on her own. This is also supposed to make her less alarmed if she wakes to find herself alone in her crib, since she knows how she got there.
When my girls were newborns, all I wanted was for them to SLEEP, however they got there. However, lying in bed with a 3-year-old for 3 hours while she fights going to sleep totally sucks. So somewhere in between we had to stop trying to "trick" our child to sleep (by nursing her, rocking her, walking around with her, whatever) and then sneaking out of the room, leaving her alone.
It's like when you leave the baby with a sitter; they say that you're supposed to say goodbye and never sneak away. The idea is that the child will be more independent eventually if she trusts that you'll tell her before you're leaving, rather than sneaking out on her when she's distracted.
All that said, I think that what works for each baby - and her parents - varies, and I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you and Anny hold Abby until you're ready to go to bed yourselves, as long as it's a system that's working for all 3 of you, and no one's feeling resentful or wanting more alone-time/couple-time, whatever.
Transitions can be tricky, but regardless of how they feel at the time, they do pass. But you've made some big ones already (not least: day care/back to work!) so you're already experts on this.
One note in response to Stephanie: my girls both nurse(d) to sleep, so I wasn't sure about the bedtime story, either. I didn't read to Ellie at bedtime until she was done nursing - at age 2! With Ada, I started introducing bedtime stories before nursing when she was about 4 months old. At first, she was uninterested, but gradually she got to where she'd let me read more and more of the story before she'd start rooting for my breast, and now, at 9 months, she sometimes asks for me to read her favorite book a second time before wanting to nurse down to sleep.
Sarahlynn: Thanks for sharing. We get plenty of reading time in during the day so I'm going to sort of let her take the lead in that department. Sometimes before naps she points at the bookshelf one were settled in the chair and ready so I'm thinking that she may do the same before bedtime. I try not to worry about it too much otherwise I'd be a basket case lying awake at night wondering if she's getting enough "lap hours" before kindergarten :)
Also, we're going through a separation anxiety type of phase. I was really good about putting her down awake and helping her get to sleep on her own but had sort of gotten away from it as of late. You post helped me remember to remember to see this phase in context. Thanks.
Wow Rob, dialog! Good post!
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