Since breastfeeding has not come easily for us, a friend suggested we find a La Leche meeting for support. Initially, I called the group leader to ask when and where the meetings were held and got an earful of advice despite explaining that we were working with a great lactation consultant. So I arrived at the meeting with trepidation that these extremist, breastfeeding moms would condemn me for having a low milk supply and our need to supplement with formula.
In addition, I purposefully chose a meeting that was in the evenings and open to fathers so that Rob could attend with us. So when we arrived for our first meeting, I was more than my usual quiet, introverted self, being fearful of the spoken and unspoken judgements that might be made against me and my insufficient ability to breastfeed. Rob also had his worst fears realized when he was the only adult man in the room (there were, of course, several baby boys and toddlers - but no other dads). It was like having a big spotlight on the three of us and not in the, "ooh, look at the adorable baby" way that we are getting used to.
I love the friend who suggested La Leche, but I'm not sure I have the fortitude to attend another meeting. As a new mom, however, I am finding the courage to speak for my baby's and my needs more often. So, in true Anny fashion, I may just build my own support group instead.
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5 comments:
I'd *love* to hear more about the meeting and what you thought of it. Email me when you can! Strength to you!
I am so sorry!!! I shouldn't have given that suggestion when I don't go to LLL meetings myself.
I think a lot depends on the meeting; I know that my sister has gotten a lot of support at her meetings (and she supplements with formula too - more on that this weekend). And there are other dads in the group that Lisa and Adam attend.
Ack. So so sorry you had that experience!
ok - so I go on vacation and study leave thinking you two are still "two" and lo and beyond Ms. Abby is a month old!? Where have I been?
All will be well with nursing. It's harder than it seems I think. Many, many blessings to you!
It's not the end of the world when a baby has to be given formula. One of my sisters couldn't be breastfed at all because she was allergic to mom's milk.
Don't let well-intentioned (though perhaps insensitive) people get to you. What matters is that Abby is fed and loved - and we all know she is!
In all seriousness, you could just formula feed her and then tell her she was breastfed and that's why you have an amazing connection with her. :)
Just kidding...I know that's not the point.
You sound so hard on yourself. It's not an easy thing to do. I had 2 other friends who had a really hard time with it. It's not your fault. And, she's so perfect as it is that if this is the one wrench in the plans, that's not so bad! You're great parents!!!
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