Collectively we feel like we can piece together the events that led up to Abigail's birth. Gory details will be minimal.
You all know that we had scheduled an induction for Tuesday, June 12th. We wanted to be sure that Anny's mom, Carol, had a chance to arrive from Casper, Wyoming. When we picked her up from the airport, we were all relieved. I have been preparing, but we both knew that having Carol there would make it a little bit easier.
As it seems to go with all scheduled baby-events, Abby did not want to wait it out for medical intervention.
At about 3 in the morning on the 12th, Anny began to have some contractions. Knowing that I needed some more sleep to be productive the rest of the day, Anny didn't wake me up until about 4:30. When Carol came upstairs in the morning, we had some breakfast before heading to the hospital.
Contractions are always depicted as terrible pains that cause a woman to double over and yell. What they don't tell you is that contractions begin as menstrual cramps... uncomfortable and annoying but nothing that requires yelps of pain.
We had pre-registered at the hospital six weeks in advance to avoid any unnecessary delays if we needed to make a quick trip. Since we had planned this one, it just happened to be one less thing that we had to do. We walked in (with a pillow, three bags and enough snacks to last for a long long time!) and were shown pretty quickly to the laboring room.
Once we set up shop - magazines and water for everyone - we played a waiting game. As with most hospital procedures, they asked us to come in at 7:30 with no intention of getting things started until 9 or so. This meant that we had some time to catch up with Carol and go through our last minute mental checklists. Everything being in order, we talked awkwardly for a while until it was time for the drip to begin.
While "waiting" as Rob puts it, I was still experiencing contractions. They were manageable and I was more troubled by the pelvic exams. After one of these exams, I told the nurse that I felt something wet trickling down my leg. She tested it with a little strip of paper (like for a litmus test) and said that my water broke. No gush in an embarrassing place, and come to find out, my water probably broke earlier but was such a slow drip I had no idea.
Because my contractions were still very irregular, they began a drip of pitocin. Now I have friends who have been induced with pitocin and they remain in labor for hours while their cervix slowly dilates. I had a very different experience with pitocin; luckily, I had a wonderful nurse. After beginning the drip, she watched the monitor (and me) as I worked through a SIX MINUTE CONTRACTION. At which point, she said that was enough and turned it off completely.
Yeah, it was a bit weird to be able to see the seismic activity of contractions on the computer monitor next to the bed. I tried not to anticipate too much, but wanted to warn Anny that things were going up or down. Feeling of control or of participation I guess.
Unfortunately, we lost the greatest nurse in WAH to a C-section she had to assist and were stuck with a substitute who did not have the best bedside manner. The greatest nurse in WAH, however, returned in time to help me through transition and the real work of labor, pushing.
I believe one of the explanations for why labor is so difficult (aside from the pain of course), is that there's little way to know how long it is going to last. I was recently talking to a friend who has also recently had her first child and explained it like this: If you are running a marathon, you have a specific distance and approximate time limit; but in labor no one can tell you 30 contractions and five hours. It may speed up and progress quickly only to stall at 7 cm with no progress for several hours. During the delivery, there's visible progress and an estimate for the actual delivery which doctors and nurses are very good at coaching, but labor itself does not progress linearly.
So as the doctor and nurse prepared for Abby's delivery, my world became very small. It was just me and pushing. The doctor gave instructions from "down there" and I know that Rob was holding one foot while my mother had the other one. With each contraction I was to push to the count of ten three times - the first couple pushes, too many people were counting (nurse, Mom, Rob). It was mom's loud voice that finally won and continued counting for the remainder of the pushes, although the nurse took over holding my foot. Throughout all of this, I don't really remember anything else going on around me, just voices and pushing.
The sequence of events are a little fuzzy, but I remember also needing a catheter. I had tried a couple times, unsuccessfully, to use a bed pan during labor, but I don't know how anyone pees in one of those things particularly at 9 months pregnant. So my bladder was still fairly full; the contractions and position of the baby were just preventing an easy release.
I remember the catheter. It was weird because....oh wait. We're keeping the gross stuff to a minimum. Let's just say I could hear her bladder empty. Weird.
I do not understand anyone who wants a home-birth for the simple reason that someone has to clean up that mess. Hospitals have all the right tarps and absorbent materials to make this super easy - Rob can probably describe these better since I really did not see much them.Again - There are things I will take to the grave with me. If you would like real details in this regard to prepare yourself for your own birth experience, drop me an email.
I'll save the description of the sensations of giving birth for those who REALLY want to know, but there's a reason women don't often share this information.At some point, the doctor did give me an episiotomy, but I have no idea when. I had signed a waiver when I was checked in explaining that the doctor would do this if she felt it necessary without consulting me. Remember, I had no anesthesia, but it wasn't until the doctor told me that I knew of the episiotomy. I felt nothing - she did, however, give me a local anesthetic to stitch me up.
I swore that I did not want any part of seeing Abby actually come out. I don't have a strong stomach for things like that. At some point, though, I realized that this was MY birth experience too, and I should take some pride in what my wife was doing to bring our precious baby into this world. Bottom line, it's not as gross as some of the previously mentioned sights.
I did stick to my guns about not cutting the umbilical cord. Let someone else do that. The cord on that kid was enormous. I thought it was small and dark, but this was thick and very white. I'm glad that it was there, just not something I feel like I should be doing, cutting away at my wife and daughter at the same time.
The other annoyance that is not often mentioned is that you still have to deliver the placenta after the baby arrives. I was watching the nurse clean up Abby, wanting more than anything to hold her, and my mother commented that Abby's toes were not webbed like mine are, as the doctor massaged my belly to help the final contractions expel the placenta.
No, Abby's toes are not webbed like two pairs of Anny's, but they were curled up really far.
It really was an amazing sight to see Abby getting cleaned up and realizing that I got to hold her first. I didn't cry, but I was certainly moved. (Doesn't mean crying is bad, just couldn't do it.) I made sure to keep reassuring Anny that things went amazingly well and that the worst of it was over. We got to hold Abby almost right away.
She was taken away for her APGAR testing, which she passed with 9's (of 10) both times. They also did hearing tests and warmed her up for a while.
Gramps and Pam drove home from the beach that morning and were holding Abby within an hour of her birth. It was a truly awe inspiring sight.
Truth be told, we're posting this as Abby has just turned four months old and backdated to the date and aproximate time Abby was born. I think this post is long enough. If you have questions or notice that something is missing, please email us offline.
3 comments:
It's a beautiful and wonderful story, and y'all tell it very well together. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Lovely. : )
Great story!!
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